If you haven't heard, the big-screen adaptation of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will be in theaters shortly after this sees print. After the release, those of us who are fans will be either a) skipping work to see another showing, b) voicing disgust over the ruination of our classic or, possibly, c) trembling under our desks as the planet wobbles from the effect of Adams' spinning in his grave. In case you're wondering, this eventually will lead to a point about food.
Here it comes now: I was re-reading the second book in the Hitchhiker's series, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, which has a passage where the characters dine at Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. After the characters sit down, a “large dairy animal” saunters to the table and introduces itself as the dish of the day, suggesting various cuts of itself that would be particularly pleasing. The earthman in the group is shocked, orders a salad and faces a rather intriguing argument with the bovine. As the animal explains, it is of a breed that actually wants to be eaten and can say so plainly and distinctly. To ease the earthman's mind, as it is leaving the table, the animal says, “I'll just nip off and shoot myself,” adding with a wink, “Don't worry, I'll be very humane.” Despite the effort, the earthman remains addled and opts instead for a bowl of soup.